Trick Or Treat

Welcome to October. It's my most favorite time of the year. The leaves are turning, the air is crisp. And Halloween is just around the corner. I think at one time or another, each of us took one of those little cardboard boxes out with us when we went trick or treating. Collecting donations for UNICEF. In case you don't know what I'm talking about UNICEF is a charity organization dedicated to assisting children, not just in the US, but worldwide. Disaster relief, water sanitation, food security and nutrition, vaccines. These are the things that they spend countless hours raising money for. And this year, I'm doing my part as well. I figure if I only raise just one dollar, I can still do some good. Because really, isn't the children that we're leaving the world to? If you have the resources and want to help, feel free. 

Shawnee' Martin for UNICEF

This Breaks My Heart

Seems like we have another Casey Anthony case on our hands. No one reported the baby missing for EIGHTEEN months. And when the mother called CPS to report the child was missing and possibly dead, they screened out the call and the police never got the report. Really? Why?

http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/149469/no_one_reported_missing_baby

Halloween Movies Worth Watching

Looking for a good scare this Halloween? Skip the dated slasher flicks and pick something with some bite.

John Carpenter's Vampires
Dark Prince: The Story of Dracula ( Not really scary, but a good watch for history buffs.)
An American Werewolf In London
Wolf
The Shining
The Blade Series
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Halloween (Obviously)
Silent Hill
The Woman In Black
Paranormal Activity
Psycho
The Birds
The Exorcist
The Rite
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Pet Cemetery
'Salem's Lot
IT
Queen of the Damned
Interview With the Vampire
Hellraiser
The Puppetmaster
Warlock
Wish Master
Critters

It's Been A While

Lots of things change in life, while others stay the same. Sometimes we feel like we zip through life when really we are cruising along at a steady pace.

I've done a hefty bit of moving in the last year. Iowa to Utah to Missouri and hopefully soon Nevada. Life is a constant state of transition, that's what makes the ride all the more enjoyable. I'll be updating more often, well as often as I have free time.

Times They Are A'Changin'

A lot has changed since I posted last. Moved to a new state, my almost two year relationship ended, cried more times than I care to remember. As much as I want to keep a positive outlook on things, somehow I just cant. I doubt myself, my worth and whether or not I actually have a purpose. On my best days I feel like a burden to the people that care about me, on my worst I feel like I don't deserve to exist. No one ever said that starting over was easy, but I didn't think it would be this hard. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up to be 10 years old again. To not have a care in the world except for making good grades in school. The last year has been hell for me and already this one doesn't seem to be much better.

Starting over isn't easy, but the character it builds, builds you.

My Dream

Much like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, I have a dream. I dream of a world evolved past petty violence. Where children can play together without fear. Where a person's income, race, religion, or sexual orientation doesn't define their worth to society. A world in which there is no such thing as homophobia, racism or bigotry. A world where nations don't have need for standing armies to defend themselves from their neighbors. I dream of a world where clean air and water are not things of the past. Where sickness, suffering and poverty don't exist. I dream of a world where social injustice is a foreign concept, and the miscarriage of justice never occurs. I dream of a world where conflict can be resolved with words and not guns. I dream of a world where a mother's rights to her own children can not be severed because she is mentally ill or physically disabled. I guess my dream is of a utopia, where one isn't laughed at for looking at things though a rose colored lens. I dream of a world where love is color blind and not restricted by a governing body telling you who you can and can not marry. I dream of a world where the phrase "with liberty and justice, for all" really means just that, FOR ALL, not just the elite, powerful and rich.

I don't dabble much in politics or religion. Personally I don't care for either one. My dream isn't that different from many others dreams. Safety, acceptance, love, equality. These are things that all mankind, not just American's strive for. It breaks my heart to see a child go without food, clothing or shelter. It breaks my heart to hear on an almost daily basis about youth the world over bullied for daring to be different. Not that long ago, I was one of those kids. Not that long ago, I suffered the careless words of my peers. And not that long ago, I became what I hated. A bully. I tried to fight back and became no better than those that pushed me around and belittled me. I tried telling myself that I was just fighting back. Eventually people became afraid of me. That little thrill of holding even one iota of power was intoxicating. But power is fleeting. Eventually, the anger I held towards the people that had been so cruel gave way to something new. Anger dissipated and I had a new out look. I forgave the childish actions of my aggressors. Not because they had asked forgiveness, but because I had forgotten why I was carrying all this anger. I tried to make amends to those that I had wronged. Some accepted, others did not. I also wanted to show my younger brother that the old hurts of the past could be forgotten, that it was better and healthier just to let it go.Lao Tzu said, " By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning. " And that is something that I firmly believe. To those young people that are being bullied for the way they dress, for the music they like, for being unapologetically themselves whether they are gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered, for daring to dream and be unique, let me say this, IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER. I know that right now it seems like the end of the world, not having the acceptance of your peers, but all you have to do is accept yourself the way you are. Love yourself, because you are beautiful, precious and unique. Keep your head held high, your chin up and your chest out. One day, you'll look back and laugh.

My message is simply this, if we don't collectively let go of all our hate, our pain, our past failures and shortcomings, how are we to change the world? How can we possibly have hope to not only save ourselves, but save our world? I am proud to say that I am a dreamer. And I believe that a person with a dream, with a singular hope can change not only just what's around them, but the world.

"It's not the size of the dreamer, but the size of the dream." Josh Ryan Evans

Writing

So, I finally got around to watching Game of Thrones. Watched the entire first season in a couple of days. Of course for me that meant hunting for links to full episodes online as I don't have cable. I was quite impressed with the series. And it also sparked my love of  writing. Creative writing that is. I've been writing short stories and essays since I was about seven, but George R.R. Martin's work brought to life made me want to jump back in the saddle so to speak. Fantasy is my genre. It's what I'm good at. I've taken a stab a horror and the work was mediocre at best and an epic disaster at worst. I tried fan fiction, but there is to little leeway with a character that has already been established by another author that it seems an injustice to do anything to alter the character. So, I've decided that it's time for me to write my own book. I plan on doing a chapter at a time, blogging them here and then once it's finished, having it published. At least that's the plan. Keep your fingers crossed, wish me luck and keep your eyes peeled. First chapter should be up within a couple of days, possibly faster if my muse stays with me.